The Idol of Responsibility

I have been guilty of worshipping an idol - the "god of responsibility."

Obviously, being responsible is a good thing. It’s important to meet deadlines, to follow through on commitments, to take care of business. But over the course of my adult working life I have – far too often – turned this strength into a weakness. I have allowed myself to become driven by the “musts” to such an extent that my life has been driven by behavior that is almost obsessive-compulsive. Sadly, much of this has been entirely self-inflicted.

When essential work needed to be done, I often would volunteer...even if the task logically belonged to someone else.  When other people would drop the ball, I would pick it up. Over time, colleagues observed this pattern and began to give me responsibilities that should have been assigned to others. Why? Because they knew I would "get it done."

This approach to life – bowing before the god of responsibility – became such a habit that I carried it over to activities outside of work. Even vacations were overly planned…and woe to the family member who caused us to run behind schedule! (And let’s be honest…is it really that important if you show up at a campground 30 or 60 minutes “behind schedule?")

The result of my behavior? Major overload. Non-stop working. Emotional depletion. And even spiritual dryness, because all of this was terribly bad for my soul. I was so busy serving God (I thought) that my relationship with Him was adversely impacted. The harder I worked to fulfill my “godly responsibilities”, the more distant God seemed to me.

So a key goal during this season of sabbatical is to connect more deeply…more intimately…with God. To listen more closely to His voice so that I will draw better boundaries when I return to pastoral ministry. To only take on responsibilities that truly are part of His plan for me. Because I want to stop worshipping the idol of responsibility…and worship only the Savior of my soul.

- Bruce