Mental Transitions

We’ve been here just a little over 4 months.

The physical transition from southern California to the southern Willamette Valley has been relatively smooth. First of all, we just love this area. It is beautiful! Second, without too much difficulty, we have learned our way around town. We have found new doctors and shopping centers; we have hiked and biked some of the local trails; we have explored some of the surrounding countryside. All of this creates comfort and familiarity, helping us increasingly to feel “at home”.

But the mental transition? That is another story, because my mind keeps playing tricks on me.  For example...

I will be driving down a street, something in my peripheral vision somehow reminds me of our former life, and suddenly…just for a moment…I think I’m on West Avenue.

Weird.

I will get up from my seat at the local movie theater, and my mind tells me I’m at the AMC in Fullerton. So when I step outside there is a moment of wondering “Where am I?”

Strange.

I will be thinking about the weekend and the need to do errands, and my mind – at times – starts thinking about Lowe’s and Home Depot where I used to shop, rather than Jerry’s Home Improvement Center where I now shop.

Bizarre.

Back in January these “ghosts of Fullerton past” were occurring regularly, but now they are much more intermittent. These tricks of the mind are understandable; we don’t just erase 25 years of history from our memory tapes. And yet these mental gyrations hold me back; they are like a tentacle reaching out from my past that won’t let go. And they create a sense of disorientation that slows down my ability to fully engage my new life here in Eugene/Springfield.

I anticipated that this move would stretch me in many ways, but this particular challenge – the retraining of my mind – is one that I did not expect. So I find myself pondering the wisdom of Romans 12:2: “…be transformed by the renewing of your mind, then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is….”

I now see this verse in a new light.  I know that it is God’s will for me to be here. My mind, at times, tries to keep me anchored in the past. So as I renew my mind, not only do I sever the tentacles that hold me back…I increasingly experience peace with God’s decision to bring me and my family to our new home.

- Bruce