When we made the painful decision to resign, we also made the painful decision to stop attending the church. For many reasons, it is extremely difficult to continue attending a church where you have been serving on staff. And so…after nearly a quarter-century…we said goodbye to our church family and left behind many dear friends. Based on past experience, we knew that we would be able to stay connected to some of these people, but that other relationships would dissipate over time.
We also knew that our transition would last for awhile as we went “on sabbatical”, and then began the process of prayerfully searching for new ministry roles. In this situation, it did not seem wise to start investing in new relationships in a new community, only to disengage after a short time when we were called to serve in a new church.
• We have visited the church plants that I was connected to through Stadia. Many of these churches are wonderful places to worship, but few of them are geographically close to us, so attending is inconvenient. And though I have a relationship with the church planter, we do not have a relationship with the church. So we come and go as disconnected visitors.
• We have visited other churches in the area that are part of our national independent Christian Church network. In most cases, I know the pastor…but once again we are strangers to the congregation. We’ve tried to attend a few of these churches on a consistent basis, just to bring some sense of normalcy to our weekends, but it is hard to be a “regular visitor”. To simply show up, attend the service, and leave…week after week…produces a tremendous sense of emptiness. For us – both biblically and relationally – connection and community are a central part of what it means to be in church.
• We have visited other local churches of various denominations just to see what is happening in different congregations. We usually have been warmly welcomed, and in some cases even have had a collegial chat with the pastor…but it is clear that we do not belong.
• Sometimes, Julie and I just sit in our backyard and have “church” by ourselves. This avoids the painful reminder of being an outsider, but we recognize that this is a stop-gap measure at best.
As a result, over this past year, our small groups have become increasingly important. These groups provide us with community, interaction, and accountability. In these groups we are known, and in these groups we can practice “one another” ministry as the Lord desires. These groups have been a safe haven and a spiritual life-line during our year of sojourn.
But we continue to believe that God will open the door for us to return to ministry and to a full expression of Christian community within the context of a local church family. So even though our nomadic wanderings have been hard, we have used them as an opportunity to observe and learn…to see what various churches are doing to reach the lost and help them become disciples of Jesus.
We certainly have seen some healthy churches, both big and small. Sadly, though, such churches seem to be the exception and we have seen much that breaks our hearts. We have seen churches that are dying and do not realize it. We have seen dying churches that recognize their condition, but refuse to change. We have seen churches so out of touch with modern culture that visitors would think they had landed on a foreign planet. And we have seen churches so completely sold out to modern culture that they are barely distinguishable as a church.
Many churches in this latter group have fallen prey to what sociologist Christian Smith calls “moralistic therapeutic deism”; a uniquely American creed built on five doctrines:
(1) A god exists who created and orders the world and watches over human life on earth.
(2) This god wants people to be good, nice, and fair to each other, as taught in the Bible and by most world religions.
(3) The central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about oneself.
(4) God does not need to be particularly involved in one’s life…except when he is needed to solve a problem.
(5) Good people go to heaven when they die.
Underlying this creed is a belief that all other theological and ethical considerations are relative; they are true only if they work for you.
So…needless to say…as I described in a series of posts back in June (“What Does A Spiritually Healthy Church Look Like?”), Julie and I continue to be concerned about the state of the church in America.
Which brings me to this past weekend.
We were invited to visit a church in another state, where I was being interviewed for a ministry role. We have been in discussion with this church for the last few months, moving through their selection process. Our interaction to this point had been positive, but all communication had been conducted via phone and e-mail. This trip was our first opportunity to visit the church…and in the midst of our nomadic wanderings, this community of believers was a breath of fresh air.
Based on all that we saw and heard, this church is healthy. Not perfect…just healthy. Biblical truth is being proclaimed from the pulpit. The church members truly enjoy being together, and they offer a warm and sincere welcome to visitors. The Elders tackle difficult issues through prayer, biblical study, and open discussion. The Elders, Deacons, and other leaders have very different personalities and viewpoints, yet they are able to disagree in respectful ways and work toward appropriate decisions without gossip and division. And they are deeply committed to reaching their hard-to-reach community with the good news of Jesus.
On Saturday, we participated in a two-hour interview where the Search Committee asked us probing questions. On Sunday morning, we visited the worship services and interacted with the people. On Sunday afternoon, we participated in another two-hour interview…but this time, it was my opportunity to ask questions of them. They were honest about what is working well and what has not worked well. They were open about the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.
We flew home from the weekend exhilarated and encouraged, grateful that we had the opportunity to meet this vibrant and healthy group of believers. We are eager to stop being nomads and once again become an active part of a church family, and now we can visualize what this might look like. We do not know if we will receive a call to this particular fellowship, but we do know one thing for certain: we want to serve in a church like this.
- Bruce
