When I was young, I clearly remember lunchtime in the school multipurpose room. We were required to be “orderly” as we filed into the room and sat down. Lunchroom monitors roamed the room to make sure that our behavior was appropriate. One of these monitors even had a “stop” sign she would hold up. When we saw that sign, we knew that the lunchroom noise level had become too loud…and we had to STOP.
Each day as I sat down to lunch, I would hope to be able to sit with my friends, because of course I wanted to surround myself with people I liked. Periodically, though, someone I didn’t like would come up and ask if I would make room for them at the table. My response? I would grudgingly accommodate them. I’ve held that image in my mind – the image of grudging accommodation – to help me think more clearly about my relationship with God. I’m sorry to say that there are times when I merely “accommodate” His presence in my life. But there are other times when I willingly, gladly, make room for Him to sit with me; to fill my heart, my mind, my soul, and my world with His presence.
Why do I have these differing attitudes toward God? Why wouldn’t I want to continually allow the Father’s presence to fill my world?
As I reflect back on that school lunchroom, I’m able to glean some insights. The people I would accommodate, rather than welcome, were those with one or more of the following characteristics: I didn’t think they were nice. The things they said made me feel uncomfortable. They weren’t part of “my circle” so they were not familiar to me or my group. They were socially awkward or uncool in some way, and I was afraid of what my friends would think if I allowed such people to sit with us. When these kinds of people were around, lunch time was not as much fun.
And what about the people I welcomed? Sometimes, the people I welcomed were “popular”, and I wanted them to notice me and accept me as their friend. But more typically, I was surrounded by my friends. I liked what they said, because we talked about things of mutual interest. Our time together was encouraging and fun.
In these interactions of my past, I see glimpses of how my behavior causes me sometimes to welcome the Lord, and sometimes to accommodate Him. When He tells me what I want to hear and when He makes me feel good, then of course I welcome Him with open arms. But when He makes me feel uncomfortable or pushes me to do something that I would rather not do, then my tendency is to accommodate Him…rather than welcome Him.
As Bruce and I prepare to leave our home in Fullerton after 25 years and move to Eugene/Springfield, Oregon, I sense that we are not just packing up our belongings…we are packing up our life. Our world is changing, and what we have known and experienced is being dismantled as we follow God into a new season and a new adventure.
There is emotion and turmoil in the midst of this change, and it reminds me of my deep need for God. But because change brings both “gain” and “loss”, I find myself vacillating in my responses to the Father: sometimes accommodating; sometimes welcoming. When I dwell on the physical task of moving our belongings and setting up a home in an unfamiliar place…when I think about the friends I will leave behind…I find myself, at times, merely accommodating the Lord. When I think about the wonderful people we’ve already met in our new community…when I ponder the beauty of the place where we are moving…it’s so much easier to welcome the Lord and follow where He wants to lead me.
I recognize that I need to welcome God into both aspects of this change, because He wants to help me grieve my losses in order to bring closure to our life here. The grief and the loss are necessary, because without them there cannot be a new beginning. So I must welcome Him into the hard places and the hard moments of life, because these losses are part of His plan.
And so as shelves are being emptied; as files, books, and dishware are being packed; as the trappings of my life here are being stripped away; I find myself welcoming God in a whole new way. There is a new “space” within me that is ever more open to His presence, ever more welcoming to His presence. I find myself asking Him to fill this space. To fill me. Not just to calm my anxious heart, but to fill my life with Him.
When we settle into our new place – our new home, our new church family - my prayer is that I will continue to make space at my lunchroom table for the Father. Every day. Not with grudging accommodation, but with open arms of welcome.
- Julie
