My life is full of “loose ends”: unfinished household projects, ideas for articles I want to write, dreams of new ministry opportunities to pursue, sermons I want to preach that aren’t even written yet…and more.
Some of this is the result of procrastination; much of it is the result of choosing to work long hours at two different jobs to help meet the financial needs of our family. There simply has not been much extra time during the past several years.
Unfortunately, all of these loose ends contribute to a sense of being overwhelmed; to feeling a bit out of control. Sometimes I wonder “will I ever catch up?”
One of the great joys I’ve experienced this fall is to have more breathing space: to slow down and smell the roses; to truly live in the moment. And as windows of time have opened up, I’ve been tackling many of the loose ends dangling around my life.
One project has been a particular millstone around my neck: a sunken brick patio in a back corner of our yard. I started this project four years ago when I dug out the earth and built a small gazebo. Since then, work only has occurred sporadically. But now, just in the past few weeks, I’ve made major progress: laying the last of the bricks, running conduit, wiring some lights (with help from my son), setting up a small fountain. The end is in sight…and boy, does it feel good! We’ll actually be able to use this patio in the near future, rather than stare at an unfinished hole in the ground.
As I tie up my loose ends, one-by-one, it brings a sense of completion and wholeness. But just as importantly, I think this is an outward picture of what God is doing within me.
He’s tying up the loose ends within my heart and within my soul…and He’s slowly bringing me to a place of peace and contentment and wholeness that I’ve never before experienced.
- Bruce
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Finding Meaning in NOT Working
One of my favorite biblical themes is the spiritual value of work. Several times, I’ve preached sermons and taught lessons on the topic of “Your Work Matters to God”. Scripture makes it clear that all of our work is a gift from God, and that our work gives meaning and purpose to life. And my work as a pastor is, for me, the most meaningful and fulfilling work I’ve ever done.
Therefore, my sabbatical presents me with a tremendous challenge: how do I find meaning and purpose when I’m not working?
The answer: it’s not easy.
Throughout the Fall, I’ve received several invitations to preach/speak/teach in various places. The Lord made it clear that I was to turn down all such offers and truly make this a season of rest, refreshment, and renewal. To pursue Him above all things. In other words, He wanted me to throttle back on my “Martha” habits and spend more time like “Mary” [see Luke 10:38-42]. Of course, this is not an easy thing for me to do. (You’ll understand more clearly if you read my earlier post on “The Idol of Responsibility”.)
So…how would I rate my progress toward this goal? Fair. Just fair.
Because I need some sense of rhythm and order to my life, each week I have been identifying certain tasks as my “work”: household projects (of which we have a HUGE backlog), managing our finances, clearing months of clutter off my desk, reading and discussing with Julie our “homework” assignments from the Mountain Learning Center…. There is plenty to do, and it’s all good. And when I complete these tasks, it provides a sense of accomplishment and progress. However, I realize that I’m still overly focused on Martha-like behaviors. My default is to place far too much emphasis on “doing” (Martha), and not enough on “being” (Mary).
So…in the weeks ahead…I will strive to take more moments to simply sit in the presence of Jesus. To talk to Him and listen to Him. To be as intentional about my times with the Lord and as I am about my work.
I know that I will be returning to pastoral ministry at some point, and I know that the Lord wants me to find meaning in my work. But I also want to understand…I desperately need to understand…how to find meaning in not working, so that I can find deep and lasting meaning in just soaking in the presence of my loving and gracious God.
- Bruce
Therefore, my sabbatical presents me with a tremendous challenge: how do I find meaning and purpose when I’m not working?
The answer: it’s not easy.
Throughout the Fall, I’ve received several invitations to preach/speak/teach in various places. The Lord made it clear that I was to turn down all such offers and truly make this a season of rest, refreshment, and renewal. To pursue Him above all things. In other words, He wanted me to throttle back on my “Martha” habits and spend more time like “Mary” [see Luke 10:38-42]. Of course, this is not an easy thing for me to do. (You’ll understand more clearly if you read my earlier post on “The Idol of Responsibility”.)
So…how would I rate my progress toward this goal? Fair. Just fair.
Because I need some sense of rhythm and order to my life, each week I have been identifying certain tasks as my “work”: household projects (of which we have a HUGE backlog), managing our finances, clearing months of clutter off my desk, reading and discussing with Julie our “homework” assignments from the Mountain Learning Center…. There is plenty to do, and it’s all good. And when I complete these tasks, it provides a sense of accomplishment and progress. However, I realize that I’m still overly focused on Martha-like behaviors. My default is to place far too much emphasis on “doing” (Martha), and not enough on “being” (Mary).
So…in the weeks ahead…I will strive to take more moments to simply sit in the presence of Jesus. To talk to Him and listen to Him. To be as intentional about my times with the Lord and as I am about my work.
I know that I will be returning to pastoral ministry at some point, and I know that the Lord wants me to find meaning in my work. But I also want to understand…I desperately need to understand…how to find meaning in not working, so that I can find deep and lasting meaning in just soaking in the presence of my loving and gracious God.
- Bruce
The Idol of Responsibility
I have been guilty of worshipping an idol - the "god of responsibility."
Obviously, being responsible is a good thing. It’s important to meet deadlines, to follow through on commitments, to take care of business. But over the course of my adult working life I have – far too often – turned this strength into a weakness. I have allowed myself to become driven by the “musts” to such an extent that my life has been driven by behavior that is almost obsessive-compulsive. Sadly, much of this has been entirely self-inflicted.
When essential work needed to be done, I often would volunteer...even if the task logically belonged to someone else. When other people would drop the ball, I would pick it up. Over time, colleagues observed this pattern and began to give me responsibilities that should have been assigned to others. Why? Because they knew I would "get it done."
This approach to life – bowing before the god of responsibility – became such a habit that I carried it over to activities outside of work. Even vacations were overly planned…and woe to the family member who caused us to run behind schedule! (And let’s be honest…is it really that important if you show up at a campground 30 or 60 minutes “behind schedule?")
The result of my behavior? Major overload. Non-stop working. Emotional depletion. And even spiritual dryness, because all of this was terribly bad for my soul. I was so busy serving God (I thought) that my relationship with Him was adversely impacted. The harder I worked to fulfill my “godly responsibilities”, the more distant God seemed to me.
So a key goal during this season of sabbatical is to connect more deeply…more intimately…with God. To listen more closely to His voice so that I will draw better boundaries when I return to pastoral ministry. To only take on responsibilities that truly are part of His plan for me. Because I want to stop worshipping the idol of responsibility…and worship only the Savior of my soul.
- Bruce
Obviously, being responsible is a good thing. It’s important to meet deadlines, to follow through on commitments, to take care of business. But over the course of my adult working life I have – far too often – turned this strength into a weakness. I have allowed myself to become driven by the “musts” to such an extent that my life has been driven by behavior that is almost obsessive-compulsive. Sadly, much of this has been entirely self-inflicted.
When essential work needed to be done, I often would volunteer...even if the task logically belonged to someone else. When other people would drop the ball, I would pick it up. Over time, colleagues observed this pattern and began to give me responsibilities that should have been assigned to others. Why? Because they knew I would "get it done."
This approach to life – bowing before the god of responsibility – became such a habit that I carried it over to activities outside of work. Even vacations were overly planned…and woe to the family member who caused us to run behind schedule! (And let’s be honest…is it really that important if you show up at a campground 30 or 60 minutes “behind schedule?")
The result of my behavior? Major overload. Non-stop working. Emotional depletion. And even spiritual dryness, because all of this was terribly bad for my soul. I was so busy serving God (I thought) that my relationship with Him was adversely impacted. The harder I worked to fulfill my “godly responsibilities”, the more distant God seemed to me.
So a key goal during this season of sabbatical is to connect more deeply…more intimately…with God. To listen more closely to His voice so that I will draw better boundaries when I return to pastoral ministry. To only take on responsibilities that truly are part of His plan for me. Because I want to stop worshipping the idol of responsibility…and worship only the Savior of my soul.
- Bruce
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